How To Never Forget Where you Parked

By: Mr. Slide

Everybody can relate to that annoying feeling of forgetting where their car is parked. You step outside the mall after a long day of tedious errand running and boom…it’s like looking at a colony[1] of penguins bunched up on an iceberg. The sun’s harsh rays add to your mall induced delirium, combining for an evil hex that forces you to exclaim, “Drat, where did I park?”

 

parking-lot-full-of-durangos
Image From autoblog.com http://www.blogcdn.com/green.autoblog.com/media/2012/05/parking-lot-full-of-durangos.jpg

 

HELP!

 

Obviously, you’re a prideful person, the last thing you want to do is hit the alarm button on your fancy new key fob. That’s essentially the automotive equivalent of having the clerk at the store’s courtesy booth use the all-call to flag down your kid. How could you be so irresponsible? Are you an idiot? It’s your car for gosh sakes, you parked it! Yet in your moment of panic, hands full of groceries, and patience thin, you press that button faster than a ship’s captain lights up a flair.

 

*BEEP….BEEP….BEEEEEEP…YOU PARKED OVER HERE, BABOON*

 

…oh right, yeah………..haha….sorry…

 

Then — after raising the white flag — you invoke the power of hearing to help locate the lost chariot. Finally, moments later, you find your grey car…right in-between the other grey one and the silver one. Ha.

 

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Super Solution

 

“There must be a better way to find my parked car!” you think to yourself as you carefully exit, avoiding other drivers hunting the massive penguin colony. Well, it turns out — there is! The folks over at Find My Car Smarter have released an app that utilizes Bluetooth Smart Technology in order to eliminate the need to hit the shameful alarm button. You simply plug your phone into the cigarette lighter (if you still have one of those suckers); open the app and it will use the GPS to mark where you park. Then, upon exiting the mall, you open your phone and easily navigate the crowded colony. Simple as pie!

 

……Okay, frankly we can’t necessarily say to buy the app, and honestly it would be way better if everybody just bought cooler cars. You would never forget where you parked because your car would stand out to you. “Ah! There is my nitrous blue Ford Focus RS! I recognize it because I love it, take pride in it, and enjoy driving it!” That’s what you would say. You wouldn’t even need that alarm. The app is fantastic and really helps if you’re in a bind, however buying an unmistakable, unforgettable, car is truly the best option.

Ford Focus RS
A Ford Focus RS from autocar.co.uk http://images.cdn.autocar.co.uk/sites/autocar.co.uk/files/styles/gallery_slide/public/ford-focus-rs-rt-2016-125.jpg?itok=chMaUcOh

 

[1] Also known as a waddle

Mr. Power’s Top Five Garage

By: Mr. Power

Welcome to my garage! Every now and again I will be taking you through my #Power5. Here are the first few.

  1. 911 Singer Porsche

Considered to be the greatest hits album for Germany’s favorite sports car. The Singer Porsche gives its lucky owners the chance to experience what makes the old air-cooled 911’s great. This car can either be fitted with a 3.8-liter flat six or, my personal favorite, the famous 4.0-liter that kicks out an astonishing 390 horsepower. Every single part in this car is hand crafted for motoring pleasure; from the carbon fiber body, to the handcrafted interior, this Porsche should be atop every driving enthusiast’s list.

*Cost=500,000

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  1. Ferrari Testarossa

What’s not to love about a Testarossa? The legendary gated shifter, it’s screaming 80’s design, and lets not forget Ferrari’s immense sounding flat 12 cylinder. Alright… I’ll be the first to admit that the stock Testarossa sounds horrible due to the crippling emission standards of its time. Upon purchase the first order of business should be to fit an aftermarket titanium exhaust. Immediately after this you should take your Testarossa to the nearest posh country club and show everyone who drives a B.M.W/Audi/Mercedes that they have failed at life.

*Cost=120,000

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  1. 2016 Porsche GT3 RS

To go along with my Singer Porsche, I would have a GT3 RS as my track weapon. Porsche has honed in its PDK transmission, transforming it into a masterpiece, pare that sucker along with a 4.0-liter flat six that can rev up to nearly 9,000 RPM and you have a Nuremburg Ring destroyer. The Porsche GT3 RS punches way above its weight class but more importantly it still maintains its sport car roots. Unlike other exotics it isn’t a widow maker, this is a surgical weapon that inspires trust in its drivers.

*Cost=180,600

  1. Ariel Nomad

This is Powerslide, I need a car that was built for the soul purpose to have fun. I don’t need air-conditioning when I’m averaging 50mph off road, and I don’t need cruise control when carving up my favorite back road. The Ariel Nomad fits my desire to have a car that feels just as composed on dirt as it does on asphalt. Paired with a super charged Honda engine that spits out 235 bhp and weighing in at a remarkable 1,475 pounds and you have a flick-able off-road demon that easily averages 40mpg.

*Cost=75,000

  1. Ferrari GTC4Lusso

Regardless of the idiotic name, this car means business. This Ferrari (hot-hatchback) is so hot it makes ghost peppers look like junior mints. This car is surprisingly long however, which some may argue takes away from its sporty roots. Unfortunately, those people are missing the point of this car. The Ferrari GTC4Lusso is the ultimate naturally aspirated V12 hell-bender of a GT Car. The other part of this vehicle is that it can fit four normal sized adults and sit quietly at 120mph. It also has a trick four-wheel drive system that can control the staggering figure of 680 horsepower. This Ferrari is the ultimate mile-crunching beast that can provide an immense amount of fun all the while delivering the refined overtones that all GT cars need.

*Cost=300,000

Total Cost for #Power5 = $1,175,600.00